I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
