I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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