make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
