Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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