On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You can't just leave with hair like that
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
