And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
