Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
