Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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