I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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