Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We are all done wearing pants today
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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