Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
