If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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