I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
