it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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