Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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