If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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