The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize