i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
