ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you mean i was at the winter classic?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
