i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
