Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm too high and old for this...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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