My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
