ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
