it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
