Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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