I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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