I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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