So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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