Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
