You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
