very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
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we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
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I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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