Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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