so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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