drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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