weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize