I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
