I just threw up on my dentist
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Randomize