so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think i have herpe
just one?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
