I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
