sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
do nipples grow back?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
