Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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