My balls are so social today.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
