i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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