Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
