Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
