Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
