Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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