was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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