i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
