What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
