He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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