In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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