I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
