Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
