if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
