she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
