He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
