Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
