I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
