Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
bring money and cleavage
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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