Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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