I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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