Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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