Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
