Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
