can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
