It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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