If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
