Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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